If we were living a normal life we would hear the birds chirping in the distance, the sun on our faces ready to wake us up and start the day. I would squint my eyes to close the drapes while turning on my side and draping my arm over Nicks and covering myself with the warm blankets ready to fall back asleep and not caring about going to work the next day. Instead of the sun, I see blue-black skies filled with hot smoke emerging from the magma invading the streets. I didn even have a nice bed, it was a piece of mattress that was falling apart and I couldn even turn because of my injury. At least I still have a nice sight to see. Nick was still sleeping, I could hear it in his breathing. I didn have any work to go to but I needed to get up to continue our journey to that patch of land to get a sample. Last night was wonderful and I don think I could ever forget it, but all good things must come to an end, unfortunately. A relationship now would just ruin our focus, any feelings or thoughts I had about Nick needed to evaporate from my mind, it would just ruin everything and if something bad happened to him then I would only feel worse or do something stupid and try to save him.. again. Today I would tell him this, I was scared to know his reaction but it needs to happen, either way, things needed to stay platonic between us if this was ever going to work.
I slowly got up and started my exploring of where we were. Last night was evident that we were in my old orphanage.. where Dolly was. everything looked so different,so broken, it was as if no one had ever lived here. I mean sure it wasn really a home but there was still life in it but there was nothing, not even a trace of existence. I needed to find out more so I went up the broken stairs up to the attic where the younger kids stayed to find my old room. I went up the stairs slowly not knowing what to expect, it was like walking into your past which is never a good thing, but I needed to know what happened even if it was just an inkling. I needed to know what happened to Dolly if it the last thing i do.
I climbed up the stairs slowly but steady holding my stomach making sure Nicks work wasn ruined again. It was wierd , every step I took unlocked a different memory and none of them good. Every time I climbed higher up the more I felt I was that little girl again crying in the closet waiting for my mum and dad go come and pick me up and then realising that hope was just a naive ghost circling us trying to keep us happy only to destroy everything we love in the end. As I reached the top of the stairs I held on to the banister ready to dive in hoping that I would be strong enough to bring myself back.
There were many rooms in this orphanage all were quite big to fit in about 20 children. I remember every room being intimidating and cold and too humungous for me. Now on the other hand I was much bigger and I was the intimating one, the room was much smaller than I thought and I had to bend down to enter any room I wanted but that was probably because half the rooms had collapsed on each other. My room was exactly to the right of the staircase which surprisingly was one of the only ones still intact. I took a deep breath closed my eyes, counted to ten and started walking towards it.
The first thing that caught my eye was the beds, they were so small, so tiny, I could only imagine our tiny bodies sleeping and praying every night for someone to take us out of this hell. My bed was the one closest to the cupboards and wall. I walked towards it with a small pace as if something was gonna happen if I touched it. How ridiculous could I be honestly. I sat on my tiny bed and touched the sheets. I smiled remembering all the late nights and talks I had with Dolly on this bed I remember the first time I laughed out loud with tears in my eyes was here with her when she made a really bad joke about the owners feet, I was laughing for at least 20 minutes. I let out a small chuckle remember that memory as I sat up and walked towards the cupboard seeing a few mementos left behind by the orphans. I wonder what happened to them. I imagine when the pandemic started the staff left first not giving a ** about the children, more of a save yourself kind of environment. The teenagers probably took care of the children and took them with them and just ran, to where I don know , hopefully found some good people and ran with them to a safer place. Dolly... Dolly. I have two versions of what happened with Dolly. The first is that she got better and helped anyone she could have because thats the type of person she was , she got everyone out including herself and made it to a bunker or something equally as good. She was probably bossing everyone around to do their best and keeping them in line, she would also be the one to lift anyones spirits and make sure they were always happy and healthy. The second version is more gorey. As soon as the pandemic started everyone left and Dolly was too sick to move and since everyone was saving themselves they couldn bother helping Dolly so they just left her there to fend for herself. Something tells me that the second version is more of what happened but I still believe that she made it out.. someway.
I couldn help but be attracted to our old cabinets. I dragged my hands on the top and felt the dust and the dirt seep through my hands. I didn have much stuff with me here, just five tops and five trousers with six panties and six training bras. The nostalgia didn hit me for that particular reason but I remembered Dolly held something special here. She kept a jewellery box especially made from her home town. It was really special to her and it meant a lot to me that she shared that box with me. She had these old jewelleries that were old and warren but together, we made them into beautiful friendship necklaces made from scratch from the old jewelleries we used to steal from the orphanage mothers who always took extra meals for themselves and left us hungry sometimes. I went to open the cabinet and it opened with some extra force which hurt me a little in the process. I couldn believe my eyes when i saw the said jewellery box staring me in the face. I got the courage and opened the box and sure enough... it was empty. This feeling made me feel... euphoric and confused. This meant two things, one being Dolly took them and they are safe with her... or that other orphans took them before the pandemic and made them their own. I hope for their sake that the first one is true because I will find out and hunt them down each and every one of them. I slammed the cabinet in fustration which led to something falling out and the sound of a trinket falling. I was curious to what happened and opened the cabinet again slowly unaware of what i would find. I couldn believe it, how could she have known? There was in all its glory, the first necklace we ever made together, I couldn believe it was still intact.. how the hell?
I had a lot of questions but I heard Nick coming up the stairs so I put the necklace in my pocket and turned to walk towards the window seeing as this was going to be a little awkward to converse in.
I heard his footsteps stop as soon as he stepped in the room. He probably was leaning against the door like every other guy does when they want to be cool.
" Alex" I heard him sigh waiting for me to turn around which i slowly did after taking in a deep breath and let it out as soon as i turned around. What I didnt expect was for him to still be shirtless and with just his pants on, this was definitely a nice site to see but maybe this was the problem, i was getting too attached.
" Hey, your up." I Coughed awkwardly and started looking at him up and down knowing that I can look at him this way again. So i guess i was admiring for the last time.
" You should wipe the drool from your mouth you know" He smiled at me cockily saying, such a dick.
" Don flatter yourself, Ive seen better." I replied trying to get the last word
" oh yeah? who?" He said while walking towards me slowly like a predator and I was his prey, I wanted him to take me again on this window sill if he had to but sadly I need to wash away my dirty thoughts and tell him the truth.
" Look, about last night I-" I was gonna tell him that it was a one time thing but he just cut me off so suddenly as if he knew what was gonna happen and didnt want the conversation to start.
" Why werent you next to me this morning?" He said cutting me off impolitely
" I just.. needed some space and started to explore this place, I saw this room had a nice window sill and.. got lost in my thoughts I guess." I explained as i turned around and looked out of the window again facing away from him
" I see, and what thoughts might have gotton you to be lost in may i ask" I felt him coming closer to me until i felt his body heat against my back, it felt.. intimate, in a good way.
" This place, its the orphanage, the one I grew up in, the one from my stories. A lot of memories just came flooding in and I haven felt that feeling in a long time." I sighed not knowing why I was telling him this but he proved he was a good listener.
" And what feeling may that be?" He moved closer if that was even possible and held my waist cautiously
" Nostalgia" I chuckled, couldnt believe I was actually saying that out loud. " About Dolly, if shes even alive, I dont even know if she made it"
Nick put his chin on my shoulder and said " sometimes the unknown is the best part of our lives and the worst. When we know it stays with us and haunts us but when we don it scares us but relives us of the pain we wish to have. I dont know what I would do if I knew my brother and mother were alive, to be honest id rather not know, relives me of the pain I know one day I would have to face" I knew he was right but in a way that made him a coward, I didn mind living with the guilt as long as I knew the truth and that they were safe and alive and well but that just shows how different me and Nick are. In my opinion, opposites do not attract.
" How are the stitches? Is my handy nurse work being acknowledged or disguarded again hm?" He teased and he pressed my waist a little adding just slight pressure which made me wince a little but he did it on purpose making him chuckle in in the end. " Sorry" he whispered but I could still hear his cheeky chuckle at the end of that fake apology.
" Its alright." I turned in his arms and looked at him, i mean truly looked at him. I put my hands on the sides of his face and caressed him, sad that i had to look away. " Nick, what happened last night can happen again." His face dropped that smile and started frowning. I think he wanted to say something but bit his tongue and just stared at me so I just continued with " It was amazing but the stakes are too high and we can get distracted, we are on this mission that could potentially save the world and we can jeopardise it with.. whatever this is." He looked down for a while and I just didn know what to say except " I\m sor-"
" Don be. Its how it has to be we were just.. two adults who really needed a release last night and thats what happened it meant nothing right?" His words hurt, i thought he was going to put up more of a fight but he just.. let everything go. I couldnt really do anything besides agree with him
" Right. Yeah" I nodded my head slowly dropping my hands from his face and crossing them not really knowing what to do now.
" You are right about one thing though" His smile turned cocky again knowing that our moment was over and it was back to the old us
" and whats that?" I said curiously not knowing what would come out of his mouth
" It was the best sex anyone has ever had." oh my- He did not just go there
" I, did not say that I said it was amazing not the best." Making my point and getting ready to leave but he blocked my path
" It was spectacular, you know you should consider yourself lucky, you got the priveledge to witness all my moves" He said cheekily whilst lifting his eyesbrows trying to communicate something.
" Yeah, okay sure, im going downstairs and getting everything ready, in the meantime put on a shirt, its weird." I pushed him away and started walking away but not before I Heard " I thought you like me like this love you didnt complain last night"
" Stop it!" I yelled as i practically ran down the stairs to hide my blush and hearing him laughing from up the stairs.